Pancakes. They are a breakfast staple across the world. France got fancy and made thin ones called crepes. China went nuts and put potatoes and onions in them. Japan wasn’t about to be outdone so they took that idea and slapped sauce on top of it and called it okonomiyaki. Pancakes are everywhere. I’ve had them and you’ve had them and, if you live in a town that does 24 hour diners, you eaten them at an ungodly hour when you were drunk.
Personally, I’ve always come down on the waffle side of the pancake/waffle divide, but don’t worry, I’m not some kind of militant anti-pancake waffle activist. We can all live together under maple syrup.
I’ve never made either pancakes or waffles before. Baking is my Achilles’ Heel in the kitchen, so pretty much anything involving flour is out. Plus, pancakes cost about three bucks at a breakfast place, so why bother?
- Mush up a banana
- Mix in two eggs
- Dash of cinnamon (or maybe pancake mix or baking powder)
- Pour it in a pan
- Flip once
I’m no breakfast scientist, but that all sounds pretty doable. I got those ingredients and I can flip stuff in a pan.
(I’m also told this fits in really well with the paleo diet. The paleo diet is a current diet trend where people only eat ingredients that would have been available to
cavemen cavepeoples. The idea is that these ingredients are more true to the foods that we would naturally eat as hunter gatherers as opposed to the processed-food swilling office trolls that we have become. That sounds to me like a good idea in theory, especially if you wanted to spend your days roving across the open plains wearing animals pelts and having a life expectancy of 26.)
This is pretty normal breakfast stuff, yeah? (I did have to go buy cinnamon for this)
This is me being a 13 year old.
I probably could have used a riper banana for this bit, but I didn’t have any. The mashed up banana looks kind of gross, but if we’re being fair, that’s probably what bananas look like inside your mouth. I’m just doing the chewing on the outside.
This definitely looks like an ungodly concoction forming. Who doesn’t want to eat a pile of yellow mush with several different textures? We are definitely wandering into some new territory here.
You guys remember when you would buy the fake rubber vomit that you put on the floor to trick your mom? Why am I asking? No reason.
I’m pretty sure this is close to what pancakes look like. I guess things could have gone much worse.
Like I said before, I’m no pancakeologist, but I’m pretty sure these count as pancakes. The other recipes made a whole bunch of little pretty fluffy ones, but I was only able to make these two ugly beasts. I’m sure there’s some kind of metaphor I could make here that would make me sound deep and meaningful or maybe they can just be pancakes.
They don’t taste bad. They also don’t taste especially good. They’re missing that satisfying fluffy crispiness from an normal pancake, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Eggs are good. Bananas are good. Putting them together is… new. To me, at least. I should note that it does taste healthy. Very healthy, in fact. That makes sense, based on the ingredients. The whole thing also took about 10 minutes tops. Definitely a bit longer since I had to take pictures on my phone at every step of the way like my spare hand was made of Instagram. There’s definitely something positive to be said about a meal that’s this wholesome and only takes a little while to make.
I give it 6.5 out of 10 on the pancake scale.
By the way, I don’t know anyone who is enough of a monster to eat pancakes without any kind of sauce. I didn’t have any maple syrup in the house at the time, so I tried a few different condiment options:
- Honey – classic syrup substitute. A bit meh.
- Blackberry Jam – pretty good. Just makes the whole thing taste like blackberry jam.
- Sweet chili – Very nontraditional. My favorite one. Not recommended for everyone.
- Sriracha – Very spicy. Bold choice. Bad choice. Not recommended for anyone.